


Coward

by bunnysworld



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 03:13:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4375016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnysworld/pseuds/bunnysworld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin and Arthur are back from the class reunion and Merlin doesn't know what to make of the situation</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coward

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to [Class of 2008](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4325460)
> 
> Written for merlin_writers Tropes Bingo. Square: Friends to lovers
> 
> Sorry, once again not beta'd. I still have severe internet connection issues and Telekom doesn't know what they are doing. Hijacked a friend's computer now to upload and get my internet fix. So...this is in Bunnish, too.

Hours after they came back, Merlin still couldn’t believe it. It must have been a dream; Arthur just showing up at his class reunion didn’t make sense, it wasn’t an Arthur thing to do. 

It was awfully romantic to dance with him and kiss him in the middle of the dance floor, but they weren’t even together, so what did that make them? And where would it take them?

As soon as they were back at their place – Merlin had long ago stopped thinking of it as just his place – Arthur had blown out a deep breath, as he always did when he was in pain, barely made his way to the couch and slumped down. Merlin went to the kitchen to get him his pain killers and a glass of water and in no time, they were back in the pattern they had. 

They had gone to their rooms, Merlin reminding Arthur to wake him if the pain got too much or he needed him for anything, and gone to bed. Where Merlin still lay, staring at the ceiling, trying to make some sense of what had happened. 

When he heard noises from the living room, Merlin scrambled up. What happened? He threw the blankets aside and padded outside. “Arthur?” He called softly. “Is everything alright?”

Arthur looked up from where he sat on the couch, his hurt leg up on the seats, a position Merlin had seen him in a thousand times. “I couldn’t sleep and thought I’d just sit here for a while. My cane fell as I tried to lean it against the table. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“I couldn’t sleep either.”

Arthur threw him a wry smile. “Exciting night, wasn’t it?”

Merlin still hadn’t moved from where he stood but he nodded. “Thanks again. This was…thank you for doing this for me.”

Neither of them said anything for a while. Merlin didn’t know what to say. He had a thousand questions but didn’t know how to ask them. 

“You know…I didn’t do this for you. Well, not only for you.” 

Merlin blinked. “But it was my class reunion and I was whining about going on my own again. Then you swooped in like a knight in shining armour.” He smiled at the memory.

“I did it for me, too.” Arthur didn’t look at him.

“I’m proud of you for overcoming your fear of crowds.” Merlin sat down on the coffee table and reached for the water bottle he’d forgotten to put away in his hurry to get out of the house. 

“It wasn’t just that, Merlin.”

Even though Merlin looked at Arthur intensely, Arthur evaded Merlin’s gaze. 

“Do you really think I’d have kissed you if this had been about me, too?”

Merlin, who had leaned forward without even noticing, pulled back and blinked. “I…I must admit that I wondered…”

Arthur threw him a quick look before looking away again. “What I’m going to say now might destroy our friendship, but I can’t help it, I have to say it.” He looked up again and looked Merlin in the eyes. “I like you.”

“Arthur, I...you’re my best friend, of course I like you, too.” Merlin’s thoughts were reeling. What was this about? Friends were supposed to like each other. Could it be that…

“Not like that.” Arthur shook his head slightly. “And don’t think it’s because I hardly see any other human beings. Merlin…I could have moved out three months ago. I still do have nightmares once in a while, but I know how to manage the pain in my leg and with the help of a housekeeper I could stay on my own, I…I just didn’t want to leave.”

“You’ve had a housekeeper before you left to…” Even though Arthur usually accused Merlin of making no sense at all, this time it was him and Merlin blinked.

“I didn’t want to leave you. I want you in my life, like this. No, a bit different. If it’s not how you feel, I’ll pack my stuff and be out of here tomorrow.”

Arthur attempted to scramble up, but Merlin held him back by putting a hand on his arm. “That’s a bit too much information at once. I’m kind of confused since…since you kissed me tonight.”

“I didn’t do it to put on a show for your classmates with that. Well, a bit, probably.” Arthur looked at Merlin again. “Basically, I did it to finally show you how I feel about you.”

Merlin’s heart was beating faster. There had been nights where he wondered why they were just friends. They shared everything. They lived like a couple anyway. Aside from the fact that they didn’t have a physical relationship. Merlin had never thought of Arthur as just his roommate or the friend he had to help. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Alright. I’ll pack my things in the morning and go back to my place. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.” Arthur answered stiffly and started another attempt to get up.

Once again, Merlin stopped him. “That I don’t know what to say doesn’t mean that I don’t have feelings, too. It’s just happening so fast. Not only 12 hours ago we were best friends and roomies with no sign of anything else…”

“I didn’t know how to show you but then I couldn’t stand the thought of you being out there, having fun, probably meeting someone…”

A smile tugged at the corners of Merlin’s mouth. He had known for years that Arthur was a possessive jealous git. The knowledge that this time, he was the reason for the jealousy made him light-headed and giddy. “I don’t think I’d ever find anyone else.”

“Have you looked at you lately?” Arthur huffed. “You’re the most gorgeous, smart, kind and passionate person I know. You just need to blink and you have ten blokes pining over you.”

Merlin frowned. “Have you overdosed on your meds?”

“No, Merlin, I mean it.” Arthur reached for Merlin’s hand, visibly relieved when Merlin didn’t pull back. “I know I’m damaged and no matter how much therapy of any kind I’ll get will make me into the man again I once was. I’m crippled, physically and psychologically. But I know that I love you. Here, I said it. In case you needed to hear it.”

Merlin got up from the coffee table and sat down next to Arthur on the couch, never letting go of his hand. “I think I always have.”

“Known that I’m…”

“Loved you. Had my crush phase as a teenager, but I thought I’d put this past me long ago.” Merlin shook his head, a small smile on his lips. “I don’t think I have. I just thought you weren’t interested.”

Arthur face went serious. “You know how soldiers write letters before combat, to leave some words for family and friends, in case they don’t come back?” He took a deep breath.

Merlin nodded and he swallowed hard. The letter no family member, wife, husband or friend ever wanted to get.

“Mine says ‘Tell Merlin I love him.’”

Sniffing and trying to blink a tear away, Merlin threw Arthur a look. “You could have told me long ago.” He reached over and cupped Arthur’s face with his hand.

“Guess, I’m just a coward.” Arthur leaned in until their lips finally touched.

Merlin’s thoughts were swirling once again. This changed everything or maybe it changed nothing at all or put things into perspective, he didn’t know. But for now, he decided to just enjoy.


End file.
